Caught in the crosswalk

I wrote this blog originally in November 2008. I had just bought a pregnancy test and after I wrote this blog, I found out I was pregnant. This is significant because I almost got ran down by an arrogant driver in a crosswalk and two lives could have been lost that day.

Is it just me or has our country as a whole just become drivers that don't pay attention to their surroundings? The fact that people are texting and driving is just very scary. Just today I was out running some errands and I went to Target. Now most of us know that most Target's typically have a gigantic crosswalk section in front of them. I am ready to cross from the parking lot to the store and I see a black pickup truck stop for an older lady to cross. She crosses and I start to cross as well. Just then, the black pick up revs his engine and continues to drive. I jumped back and waved my hands at the man. He stops for a moment, just looks at me , shrugs his shoulders and drives off.

Now I am not a small person at 5'6 and even in a pickup , I am clearly visible. Thank god my 2 year old daughter was not with me. This is the third time I've been almost run over in a cross walk in the past month. The first two times occured at the army post where I work. The first time it was a teenage boy who almost ran me down while I was in the middle of a crosswalk and thank god I ran the other way because he never stopped. The second time I was walking across the parking lot (which is only about a 15 feet walk). When this middle aged women comes plowing down and barely missed me. Again, I threw my hands in the air and she just looked at me and shrugged her shoulders.

I just don't understand, do I have a big target on my belly or something? I can't blame it on age, as two out of three times the people were at least middle aged. I just think people don't like to wait, they are always in a hurry and aren't really paying attention to the world outside of their car window. Where I live, you need to drive down a heavily wooded area to get to my development. The speed limit is 25. I always see deer crossing the road or at least on the side of the road, waiting to cross. I've been lucky that I've been able to stop in time for the deer to cross. That is deer, in worst terms, there are also roads near my house where people cross, in the dark, typically not at crosswalks. These people may be with their families and include small children. I worry that if I'm not safe in the crosswalks, these people have a very slim chance of not getting hit, crossing a busy two way street.

My message to all is simple. Concentrate on the road and your surroundings when your drive. That missed call or unanswered text message is not as important as someone's life.

The domestic Goddess

I will never be labeled as a domestic goddess। I shun cleaning,cooking and organizing. I work 40 hours a week plus the 10 hours a week I spend commuting back and fourth to work. I come home I just want to crash and relax although really I can't. I have 2 children, one 3 and one newborn.

When people come into my parents house , it looks like a show house. All of the rooms are dusted and cleaned on a regular basis. The outdoor yard is perfectly landscaped. My parents do all of this themselves. My mom was a stay at home mom though and my dad is a guru with home improvement. I am lucky if I get my husband to touch up paint on the walls. He was raised in Brooklyn in a small apartment and doesn't seem interested in learning how to fix things on his own.

I come home from work and start cooking dinner, which is usually selected from a menu planned ahead of time. Sometimes I use the crockpot and start the dinner in the morning. I occasionally use cookbooks to find new recipes. I enjoy the cookbooks my mom has from the 1960s and 1970s as the recipes are simple and typically use ingredients I have on hand.

I then clean the kitchen stove, I don't do the dishes as my husband insists on doing them by hand even though we own a dishwasher. Usually the dishes end up sitting in the sink so long that I end up washing them in the dishwasher as he doesn't get home until after 7 and is also tired.

Laundry gets done once or twice a week and I do as much as I can at one time, I try to put all of the clothes away all at once and rarely iron unless the clothes look like a giant spider web of wrinkles has invaded them. Sometimes I pick up the clothes from the drycleaners.

I take care of my daughters and give them a bath before dinner. They are of mixed race and both my husband and I have very curly hair so washing her hair and styling my 3 year old's hair is always a long process (At least half an hour) as my husband refuses to let me cut her hair and if it were straight it would be waist length. It is so thick and curly now that I have to section off her hair and even with tons of conditioner its hard to get a comb through. I didn't even mention the tantrums and her being very stubborn. Getting her to do anything (eat, get dressed, go to the potty) is always a long task in itself. And then you have breastfeeding the baby.

Thats basically my week, other cleaning and organizing typically doesn't get done. Like vacuuming, cleaning the bathrooms, washing the windows, any yard work, organzing the closets and pantry, being able to spring clean. The weekends are typically spend running around and I'm lucky if I get any time to clean, plus being pregnant I don't use anything with chemicals. Sometimes I feel ashamed that I am not like my mother and don't have a house that spotless and clean. Some of my friends have resorted to hiring a maid, but that is not in our budget. I think I would feel guilty about hiring a maid when I could be doing the same work myself. I own a townhouse and even though we want to eventually move into a bigger house I fear all of the extra cleaning tasks and responsibilities that come with a bigger house.

Cheap is Chic

I've always been called "cheap" . Growing up I was always the one who saved her money. I would save but not for a short term reason, typically for a long term reason. I started to buy savings bonds when I was 13 and I used them to go on a trip to Europe when I was 22. I saved most of the money I earned from my job I had as a hostess and from babysitting since I was 15. That money went towards a down payment on a new car when I was 23.

Now my parents and my brother they weren't like this at all and always told me I was cheap. My dad I think is much more thrifty then my mom. MY mom likes sales but she also buys brand name items. My brother typically saved for short term reasons (this is why he had a car at 16 and was able to drive to school, whereas I was a senior still taking the bus). Although I think now that he is married he no longer lets money urn a hole in his pocket.

I would brag about the 2.00 dress I bought at 80 percent off at a brand name store or the deal I found on ebay or goodwill. My friends scoffed at this as they would go to the brand name stores. I looked for the cheapest groceries in the store when I went to the grocery store. I liked yard sales.

I would now be considered "thrifty" instead of cheap as the economy has soured and people are realizing "value" is very subjective. Items that used to have value such as brand name new clothes don't have as much value to the consumer anymore.

Now if only i could convince my husband to share my philosophy. He on the other hand likes to have nice electronics and is whining about me not buying him an i pod for our 5th anniversary gift, although I did take him out to a nice restaurant, with a coupon for a free entree of course.

Who wears short shorts, definately not my three year old

Women and teenagers are sexulized in the media and definitely by our fashion community. That we all know. However toddlers and preschoolers should not be. There once was a time when little girls clothes exuded femininity. If I go through pictures of my mother or grandmother as a young child I will only see pictures of a little girl in a frilly dress, even if it wasn't a formal picture. In the 70s and 80s that was changed with the invention of seersucker belly revealing shirts and sit on your hips jeans. I admit I wore the former at least by age 6. This was not my choice obviously. Other then this one shirt, it appears my mother came to her senses and dressed me pretty conservitely in the time that I couldn't pick out my own clothes.

Now that I have two girls; three and one month, I realize that the clothing for toddlers can be pretty hit or miss as far as defining cuteness. Is cute a frilly dress or a half shirt exposing the belly with dora the explorer. Is a one piece little mermaid swimsuit cute or a polka dot bikini that looks like it is a small version of what is in the Victoria's secret catalog cute?

For me, I want my little girls to look like little girls not little adults. They shouldn't necessarily be covered head to toe but exercise some decency at least. My husband and I watched Toddlers and Tiaras on TLC the other night and were horrified. The little girls wore more makeup then their mothers. They sashayed their hips and pouted their lips and wore clothing that should be on project runway. Come on people, your three year old should not be dressed like shes getting ready for the prom.

AFLAC Recruiters stop bugging me

I am currently on maternity leave after having my second daughter. Although I am gainfully employed, which in this current economy is a godsend, I decided to update my resume on Careerbuilder. I have no intention of applying to jobs at this time but I thought I should be open to other possibilities. This is nothing new, I've had 2 jobs in 8 years and I don't job hop.

Anyways, I updated my resume two days ago and so far I've been called by 4 different AFLAC recruiters. They always call from a personal call phone so the name of the company is always a mystery. They all state that they have management positions in a fortune 200 company and do not state what that company is in their speel. I ask "What field are you in?" or "what is the name of your company?". As soon as I find out that its AFLAC, I tell them I have 8 years of experience in the medical research field and am currently employed. They seem disapointed but I am sure thats only because I am the 100th person in a row to turn them down. Last night I swear the same guy called me twice and then ran down a list of names until he got to my name. He then tried to make light of his mistake by cracking a joke about big families and the parents calling the kids by the wrong names.

There was a time when I was willing to consider such a job, which only pays based on commission. I graduated college in January of 2001 with a business administration/ marketing degree and after months of trying to find a job in the market research arena I broke down and accepted interviews from some of the insurance sales places. I even went on a interview with a marketing company that did door to door sales (this was unknown to me until I went on the interview and found myself having to walk door to door with a 18 year old "Manager").

When I interviewed with Aflac at that time I felt like I was interviewing them, like they were begging me to accept the job. I was instantly transported back to when I was 18 and had gone on a interview for a sales position which I found out when I got there was selling knives door to door (oh thats safe). The interview went terrible and I purposely was rude. I was told that I got the job and later called to turn the job down. Don't get me wrong if you are a insurance salesman or sell items door to door I respect you and am not knocking what you do. However, this is not what I was picturing myself doing when I decided to pursue a college degree. I also need a steady income and I am not agressive enough for sales, which often relies on commission.

Anyways back to the numerous AFLAC calls. I think they call everyone that posts a resume and don't even read their resumes. They are more concerned on quanity of recruiting then quality. My tips are, why don't you call someone who has previous sales experience instead of randomly calling people who have no interest in the field what so ever. Also, when you are calling someone identify who you are an what company you are with, specify the position you are hiring for, if its sales say sales don't say customer service position or other vague titles.

God bless everyone in their job search, but be somewhat diserning when you accept the recruiters cold call invitations for interviews. You need a job that will work for you and can support you and or your family.