Praying to God and Laying of your hands will not cure my headache!

I want to start by saying that I hope I don't offend anyone's religion. I respect all beliefs and diversity of beliefs. I don't want to push my religion (I am a catholic) on anyone else and don't feel comfortable when others try to push their religion on me. I've had protestant Christan, Jewish, Buddist, Hindu and Muslim friends and I have learned a little about their faiths from them. I find it fascinating that they all connect in some way although sometimes people feel that they are very different.

I was friends with a girl at work who belonged to a nondenominational church. She was very nice and I felt very comfortable around her at work. She invited me to her baptism (which in some christian faiths is not done until you are an adult and can fully understand your commitment to Christ). I went with my husband an another coworker. The church service was different then my own. The service lasted about 2.5 hours, parishioners were very vocal, a young pastor with a guitar and some very interactive song about Jesus and his love for us all, his song was written by him. People put their hands up to the ceiling and proclaimed their sins needed to be forgiven.

For anyone who has attended a catholic mass, it is about 45 minutes to and hour, the chorus sings strictly traditional songs and the parishioners are not interactive with the sermon except to stand and sit when told. This is what I am comfortable with but I have been to Lutheran and Methodist services that were not all that different.

After I went to the baptism my friend invited me to a church get together, which was supposed to be for the youth counselors in the church. I didn't mind this as it was in someones house. I felt that I was going more because I wanted her to think that I was willing to get to know all aspects of her life and since the church was a big part of her life, I was willing to get to know her friends at the church. The straw that broke the camel's back was when I was invited to go to a church retreat, which was in western Pennsylvania.

Two days celebrating Jesus and praying in a improvised church was not my idea of fun, but again I wanted her to be her friend so I agreed to go. On my trip up to get to the camp I got a horrible migraine headache. I hate getting headaches and although I don't get them often as I avoid most of the foods that trigger them, sometimes extreme stress also will trigger them. Once the headache reaches a threshold point, I will get very sick unless I take aspirin or Tylenol. I told my friend that I had a headache and asked her if she had any Tylenol. She told me no. Once we go there she kept asking me strange questions, "when did you start your journey to accepting Jesus as your savior", "Do you often drink alcohol", "Do you not put Jesus first in your life"?

After getting to the camp and talking to most of the people that had recently joined the church, I got a sense that most of these people had hardships in their life and felt that they needed to turn their life around. Now I support that. However, I have not had issues with drugs, alcohol or promiscuity that many of the young people in the church had dealt with. We all make choices we have to deal with and I am no better then anyone else but I have never dealt with going down a pathway that lead my belief system astray. After all of the questions continued, I felt rather hurt and almost felt that my friend was passing judgement on me because she thought I needed to be "Saved". She and several other church members constantly tried to ask me why I was catholic and why don't I join their church.

Back to the headache situation, my friend requested that I go to the two hour long prayer session after driving three hours to our destination. I went, but half way thorough he service I felt dizzy and lightheaded. I asked a few other people for medicine. Instead I was told that I needed to be "healed by Jesus". Several people lay their hands on my head and loudly prayed for my headache to go away. The headache did not go away and I had to leave early as I could bearly stand up. I was walked back to my room and someone finally gave me a Tylenol.

I did learn alot by this experience. I learned that if someone is not willing to accept you for who you are and what religion you are, that person is not really your friend. I think that the person in my story is a nice person but I couldn't continue to hang out with her at her church. I also learned that if people are willing to pass judgement on you without really getting to know you, they are also not your friend. The most important lesson I learned was if you are going to church bring some Tylenol with me. I believe god and Jesus have done some miraculous deeds, but taking away my headache was not one of them.

Keep Your Racist Comments To Yourself

Did you ever walk by someone and overheard them say something about you, your spouse/ significant other or your child that was just derogatory or downright mean? Did you just want to go up to that person and yell at them?

Well, being in an interracial relationship (now marriage) for 10 years of course I've heard my share of those comments..by people of all races. You know who you are! Now that I have a child maybe I am even more sensitive to those comments.

My child is multicultural, her father is of asian /hispanic/black/european/native carib indian heritage and I am of european heritage/ native american heritage. She really doesn't look like a particular ethnicity or race and is truely "multicultural".

A few weeks ago my husband and I are in the store and he is pushing our daughter in the shopping cart. A man walks by with his wife and child and when my husband was out of earshot says to his wife, "Thats his child? You would never know". I thought about not telling my husband what the man said. Then a few minutes later I told him. He of course was angry, I didn't think it was a big putdown on him but he was livid that someone would say that.

I live in a very mixed community (51 % white, 34% black, 8 % hispanic, 4 % asian, 3 % other according to census data) but pikesville, md which is the next town over from owings mills is known as being a largely jewish neighborhood and the man was an orthadox jew. I am not sure if this had any bearing on why he made the comment he did. I think that there are many cultures that live in neighborhoods that are not mixed and when they are not as tolerant or informed of other cultures as those who have more exposure to other cultures. The point is maybe he wasn't used to seeing mixed race children.

This incident must happen alot though with mixed children, someone is always opening their mouths and making an ignorant comment about how the child appears. I say, Grow up and face the fact that no matter how "white" or "black" someone appears if we did a DNA test there would probally be a few cultural suprises in your background.

I just don't understand why a label has to be put on people. I mean its not like I can even say shes bi-racial and explain it away with that. She is multi racial. I'm not going to label her as "black" either as I am sorry but I don't believe in the one drop rule. She can decide for herself if she wants to label herself into a specific racial box. My husband is trinidadian and we will teach her about being American and Trinidadian, not bein classified into a particular race.

Vanity Clothing sizing

I don't fully understand "vanity clothing sizing" . Ok I do understand that its a marketing ploy that manufacturers hope will draw women to buy their clothing. I majored in business marketing in college and that concept is very clear. You make women feel good about theirselves and boom you have an instant revenue boost.

From a retail perspective this may make sense, but from a buyers perspective it doesn't. I have clothes in my closet that are sized anywhere from a 2 to an 8, depending on where and when I bought them. I also have shirts that run from an extra small to a large. I get very confused when I walk into a store because there is not standard. I also got very confused when I went to Europe and tried clothes on. Sizing in the U.K and the rest of continental Europe differs as well.

बीfar the United States has the largest percentage of overweight people compared to Europeans. I believe that being tricked into thinking you are a size 2 when in standard sizing you'd be 12 is not helping Americans lose any weight. Ok don't get me wrong, I would be a size 12 in standard sizing that was used in the US in the 40's and 50's. Vanity sizing started in the 80's but didn't start going totally whacko until the mid to late 90's. When I was 12 years old in 1990 I wore a size 14. I was 5'4 and weighed 130 pounds. I was teased for being heavy and buying clothes was a nightmare because I was too big for kids clothes, Junior clothes didn't fit right and Misses clothes were too big on my hips and thighs. Then when I was 13 I was very sick for about 2 weeks. I lost 20 pounds. I went to Gap to buy a pair of jeans and was ecstatic that I fit into a size 7. I thought I was thin and I stayed this weight for about 2 years. I eventually went back to 125 pounds and have stayed at that weight for 14 years (I gained and lost 25 pounds when I had my daughter). I don't think I am thin and I am actually considered to be in the normal range for my height (now 5'6). The problem is I shouldn't be wearing a jean size smaller then what I did when I was 110 pounds. If I was that weight today I'd probally have a very hard time finding clothing that fits me.

In the US, clothing manufacturers deviate about 6 sizes from standard sizes. UK sizes are 4 sizes bigger. Some of the designer labels deviate even more then 6 clothing sizes. Some clothing manufacturers have clothing that differs depending on what you buy. I will use Express as an example because I shop there. I now wear a 2 in their jeans, 5 years ago I wore a 6 and 2 years ago I wore a 4. I bought a pair of high waisted dress pants and got a 4 and that was slightly tight.

My theory is just go back to standard sizing. There won't be as much confusion and women will have to just deal with the fact that instead of wearing a 16 they wear a 22.

Coffee or Tea? None for me!

From my very first sip of coffee 23 years ago (I was a young child) I thought coffee was bitter and disgusting. My mom was convinced by my younger brother and I that we were old enough to try coffee. My mom gave us each a sip of the freshly brewed ( ok probally at least a day old) McDonald's coffee. Whereas my brother gulped it down, I immediately spit it out.

Maybe we are born as coffee drinkers or maybe our society makes us that way. Every morning since I can remember I woke up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee in my house. Now even though my household doesn't drink it, I go into work and also smell it. I like the smell, I just don't like the taste. Don't get me wrong, I've drank coffee plenty of times and unfortunately shelled out $4.00 to get a tall caramel machiaatto at starbucks. That drink no longer tasted like coffee, it was more like a dessert of caramel and cream. I have to dump at least 3 packets of sugar into it to get rid of the aftertaste.

I sometimes feel alone in my distaste for coffee. It seems everyone jumped on the coffee train years ago. I'll take a tall glass of orange juice anyday over a large cup of coffee.